So, the last guy that I was talking about. He drove down, I got in the car, and the he looks at me and says
"I haven't been completely honest with you."
I froze. My heart stopped. And I was just like "Okay, what is it?"
"I'm actually married."
We then decided that neither of us could go through with this (which I already knew I couldn't be with a married man, but he seemed to not realize he couldn't cheat until he saw me).
The whole issue of cheating just saddens me.
So then I had a date last night. He was 32, but he looked older. He was nice enough. I sucked on his balls because I just couldn't give a decent blow job. He ejaculated and got semen in my hair. He thought it was funny, but I didn't because I'd have to wash my hair as soon as I got home. I had already taken a shower right before we met up.
He brought up something that I wasn't thinking about. Okay, well, I'm very sensitive. When ever a guy tries to touch my clitoris it's always kind of uncomfortable. I don't know if it's just because I'm used to my fingers or what exactly, but it never feels good when a guy does it. And also, I'm pretty sure my vagina is just tight since I've only had sex twice, but sex just hurts for the most part. Well, anyway, he suggested that I go to the gyno and make sure everything is okay. I really do think that everything is okay, because I know that women are all different and some are just more sensitive than others. But I hadn't ever thought of going and just making sure it's all good down there.
I emailed Tom and asked him what was up and if we could at least be friends, and he apologized and said that he's just been really busy and he definitely wasn't trying to ditch out on me because he's interested in hanging out and stuff. And it made me so happy.
I was going to meet up with a guy tonight, but he's decided that he doesn't want to because he wants his "next blowjob to be from his wife." Which is fine, I understand, and I think it's good for him. I don't want him to do anything that he isn't really wanting to do or that he will just regret later.
My job started. I don't remember if I already said that. But I am so happy because I will finally get a little money on Thursday. Two days. I am so broke. I have a little over $2 to last until then. I'm pretty sure that I'll be okay, but it definitely makes me feel better to have a little bit of money. My paycheck will only actually cover one day of work, but it's better than no money at all.
I am so happy to have a job.
I think I'm going to start the pill soon. I'll probably go to planned parenthood and get it. I always use condoms, but it would make me feel better to have the pill as a back up.
Anyway, here's my latest favorite song.