Comparisons

I've heard a quote that says in our lives we either become our own best friends or worst enemies.

I just wonder what decides which one you become.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and we were talking about how girls, especially, compare themselves to other girls. Often in a really harsh way.

But it really isn't fair to compare yourself to anyone else, because a lot of times you end up comparing all of your own flaws to all of their strengths.

You often can't see someone else's flaws. But you see all of yours and probably know every bad or imperfect thing you've ever done. But you don't get that with anyone else.

And more often than not, we have a hard time seeing our strengths. Even when other people tell us what our strengths are, we don't believe them. I think it stems from not wanting to seem self-absorbed or snooty, or maybe low self-esteem in some instances.

I think that it should be just fine to know our strengths and talents and to feel good about ourselves.

I had a friend once tell me:
" I can say that I'm a good singer, and that's fine. I am a good singer. But if I were to go around and say that I'm a better singer than everyone else, that would be a problem."

And I agree. It's fine to say that you're good at something. But not fine to say that no one else is anywhere near as good as you are at that something.

I just think that people should stop comparing themselves to others, because it really doesn't help us when we do it and end up hurting ourselves.

But I do think that comparing ourselves to others in a constructive way, that makes us a better person, is okay.

Like:

-"Oh, Ashley is so nice. It makes me want to be nicer."

-"Maria works so hard to keep the apartment clean. I should be neater and clean up after myself better."

-"Susan volunteers at the food bank every Friday. I should get more involved in helping the community."

See? You can compare yourself to others and it actually help you. That's what I think people should do, rather than just say "Oh, well, they do this and I'm not good at it so I'm a terrible person and no one will ever like me."

That is just hurtful and a little sad.

I know that it's not really as easy as that because I have problems with comparing myself to others, just like I'm sure everyone else does, but I think that so many self-esteem problems could be solved with giving ourselves criticism that is more constructive than simply just negative and comparative.

And then we can all be best friend with ourselves.





:)